Whenever I have bad times or feel down, I always remember a wisdom my highschool Javanese teacher ever taught me. She once said that,

"The most fortunate person are the most likely learn from the experience of others, the happiest people are the ones who most grateful"

(Orang yang paling beruntung adalah yang paling banyak belajar dari pengalaman orang lain, orang yang paling bahagia adalah yang paling pandai bersyukur)

Those magical words really worked in my case when back to two months ago I met some failures. I let them go and those disappointments twisted into beautiful mess—that apparently, I’m so grateful for now.  

Being thankful for me is the strongest remedy for every painful moment. Thus, every morning after waking up, what I do is asking myself: Are you happy?

To answer it, I start to recall any moments of good or bad, glad or sad, joy or sorrow then I find I get much more ‘yes’ for every question. Somehow, I even answer yes, simply because there is no reason to be unhappy.

On that way, I always end up reciting one of my favorite verses from Quran:

“Fabiayyi aalaa irabbikuma tukadzzibaan”

Then which of the favors of Your Lord will you deny?

*(QS.Ar-Rahman: 47)

Some days ago, I ever tweeted these words: ‘In life, many things come without letting you to opt’. Now, I wanna add up: But when it let you opt, it might be uneasy options.

***

It started on mid-March when surprisingly I received an invitation to Gristuf (Greifswald Int’l Students Festival), Germany, on June 16-24 to attend workshop about Non-violent Society. I was grateful for it as I really hoped I could go to this festival after last year I had a life-changing experience on ISFiT.

The plus was the workshop Gristuf offered allowed me to dig deeper about humanity issues I had concern and it also fitted my field of study about media. By choosing the theme Media Violence on Gristuf, I could learn more thoroughly about how media portrayed some violent images towards society and created mentally unhealthy society. As for me, I define media violence as generated meaning of content that inflict people to negative effects, both physical and psychological damage.

Besides of workshop, I was excited of the nuance of the festival that inviting students from all over the world,  the new family and friends I would meet, and networking I could build. One more thing­—it might sound trivial, but it wasn’t—Greifswald is the hometown of Caspar David Friedrich; one of great artists whose paint I adore— entitled Wanderer above the Sea Fog. And the most appealing one, would it be nice to spend some days over summer holiday in Europe, before the last semester of struggling start?

Of course, yes.

But, that’s not how everything finished.

Yesterday, I got the notification that I was passing the selection to be participant on Kuliah Kerja Nyata Universitas Indonesia (K2NUI). It is an annual program held by my university to give students opportunity to live along 40 days in outermost region of Indonesian and give contribution to society there.

Every year, the university selects about 200 students to be placed on diverse borders area of Indonesia that next to other countries. In every area, a group of students is given tasks to do some programs that addressed for the society empowerment in every aspect, such as health, education, infrastructure building, public service, technology, economic, social and humanities, etc. The interesting part is, before being departed to destined regions, all of selected students are trained for two weeks in Surabaya by the marine force and living in the battleship (literally ship, or KRI).

Because K2N is continuing program during June-August, I have to make choice out of those two occasions. And, by yesterday, I chose to end Gristuf even before going to Greifswald. Instead of leaving for Germany, I’m going to Indonesian border.

Indeed, it is truly hard thing to decide between those two extremely wonderful occasions. Both of them deliver promising valuable lessons about life, and both of them offers the joy of the journey on its own way. Greifswald, Germany, and Europe exactly would leave the unforgettable memorabilia within the people, the cities, the natures, and the cultures. They’re sort of places which satisfy your wanderlust on its finest—I agree on that.

On the other side, K2N lures much more rare moments that lead me to richer life; staying in the Indonesian border, living within the society, seeing the true heart of motherland, giving hand to do volunteering that might be caused positive impact directly, and feeling the atmosphere of natures on its beauty of virginity. And don’t forget, prior to that, I could peek out the life above the sea with the marine armies.

Well, it might be sound emotionally cliché—but I’m sure experiencing life on that way will make me redefine nationalism and be proud as Indonesian. I believe in life there are some highlighted moments that let us live the life to its fullest; and ‘being proud of Indonesia’ is one of those kind of moments.

Therefore, even before I officially selected as participant in K2N yesterday, when I saw my name as candidate who passed out the essays stage on K2N, I had decided I would more prefer going for it.  And to some people questioned my decision, I often said I took it because I could gain much more valuable lessons and life-changing experience from K2N, and the only chance for me and all of 2009s students to join is this year. Without no regret, I pleasantly say, Good bye Griefswald and Welcome Maratua—or any border area.

To choose things that come in life is uneasy. But, when we have to, choose one that let us grow wiser and stronger to choose for another matters ahead. Because after all, life is the matter of choices.

I knew Team-Me for the first time February last year when they had performance on Grand Opening of ISFiT 2011. Since back then, I've been falling in love with this Norwegian band. Up until now, I'm enjoying their songs much, particularly one of the song they sang in Studentersamfundet that night, Weathervarnes and Chemicals.

Because everytime I listen to its beautiful lyric, the song bring me back to the icy street, snowy wind, chilly weather, but melt by the warmth of the people hug each other every morning. And everytime I finish listen to whole song, I will feel the wanderlust flown out in my bloodstream. 

Team_Me_-_Weathervanes_and_chemicals.mp3

(download)

Click here to download:

Team_Me_-_Weathervanes_and_chemicals.mp3 (5.26 MB)

As the mountains melts together with the sunrise
You tell about the time
When you turned yourself into a stranger,
And all the chemicals were dancing in your blood
When you dear suddenly felt seasick.
Because you thought all lies were revealed.
And the thing that I felt when you told me
About that house with that singing weathervane

AHHH,AH,AH,AH,AH,AH,AH,AH (x4)

Oh, determined heart please translate it!
These cryptic messages hidden in between,
Her moon and her sky and her oceans
Cause i dont seem to understand them anymore.
Now the bachelor seems to wind up in a corner.
And his army of lovers they have left.
And the brakeman is obviously sleeping.
Cause this train is going faster than light

Weathervanes and Chemicals -- Team Me

Many days, I am just living the life as it walks forward and overlooking many things that truly shape who I am. One of reasons I’m writing is actually for the sake of remembering; leaving the traces that would remind me of my old days, any good or bad ones. Life itself has clearly told us that history was created by letters, words, writings, and scripts. Verba volant, scripta manent. That’s how Latin proverb cleverly said that the spoken will be vanished without being recorded in words. 

In a contrast, lately, I seem to avoid myself typing on some words I really want to bring out of myself. Many times, I found myself noted some points I wanted to write later, or even started typing, but all of them ended up being heaps of unfinished drafts. Instead, I only read or watched, or observed, or blogwalked, or listened. In short, consuming any texts without producing ones, or the least I could do, just kept silent.

I said to myself, “It will be great loss if your own history disappears in vain just because you’re too afraid to memorize it”. Or, in some other times—while I thought the problem was about writing out loud—I  kept telling myself, “Unless you’re a superstar, there’s none who cares or minds that much about you; and you clearly aren’t”. However, if that was the real problem, even keeping a secret diary didn’t work either.

Then, one day, I told my good friend about my escapism from words. To me, he said, “Don’t overthink, cause somehow brain doesn’t accelerate , but brain does inhibit”.

Thus, I kept typing without giving so much care about some worries, anxieties, or insecurities that popped out in my brain. So, this one is the result, the only finished one, the one that you read now. The one that I feel this word of mine is so much like an enigma, concrete but abstract. Like an iceberg which visible at the tip, but invisible at the deep. Or, you can say it’s just a pointless mumbling.

Pardon me, self. Maybe, after all, what I did was just overthinking again.

Midnight, on the hardship of writing the starting point

Dear My Beloved Komedians,

Thank you so much for every parts involved in Media Matters, Pekan Komunikasi 2012. It's indeed such an honor to work with very determined team mates, a fortune to have great and cooperative finalists, and also to meet professional yet down to earth judges.

Thank you for the hardwork, countless lessons, commitments, and unforgetful values we've shared for the past five months, guys. There would be no KineKom, Pop Research Competition, and Company Visit without any contribution you give.

It's now well done. Alhamdulillah.

Sincerely,

Jenderal Media Matters (Purnawirawan)

PS. I can't thank Nicky Stephani enough for always be there in any ups and down, from the very first minutes till the very end. It's a bless for me, Nick :)